29 February

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I touched the tattoo on my chest, your initials which I tattooed after you were gone, to feel your presence in me. But somehow it feels hollow now.  If you ever had known about it you would have been so mad. I looked at the dead plant, I again forgot to keep the pot in sunlight. Am I also avoiding the sunlight, since when had I started to romanticize night? Blurred images of needles…smoke…drips…doctors… chants…cries…broken pens…and that damn colour blue…
I lay my legs dangling off the bed and stared at the ceiling fan, I could see my reflection on the fan. Today this tattoo was catching my attention again and again, it had been there for a while now. Why was I trying to feel it now? I needed to bring more paint, don't know what had come over me to paint this room again. The color pink… The phone rang again, how many times I have told them to leave me alone? I turned the silent mode on. Throwing it away I picked up the book lying beside me. Words were also not making sense. A sudden urge to get rid of this tattoo had come over me but a part of me wanted to hold on. Holding on to things gonna haunt me forever. I want it to stay a little longer. Do we really forget things? Is it easy to erase the memories? I'm even afraid that I'm forgetting your face, your smile… your laughter. I closed my eyes, and tried to touch your face, I felt the movement of curtains. Sun was peeping through the window. Sun rays fell over my wet hair. You were so close still so far. I knew I couldn't keep my eyes closed for long. There wasn't any point. People long gone won't come back. 
I got up, and put on my T-shirt, there were a few messages and missed calls on the phone. I put on my shoes and went off to meet the guy I recently met at the bookstore. 


 

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Nidhi katoch
A silent observer in search of her TRUE HOME. If you like my writings, do comment and share... Views are extremely personal and are original writings of mine.

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