Nidhi Katoch blog

 I was scribbling my dairy while sitting on the balcony, adoring the great Himalayas in front of me. I could hear the one or two hoots of villagers, now and then. The sun was smiling all over the valley. My coffee was getting cold but I wanted to put down my thoughts at once.  Some nights just went by in the blink of an eye, and we kept wondering why are we stuck here. To be truthful, stagnation is a curse. We get stagnant but the Earth never stops revolving around the sun. It makes us anxious and usually makes us wonder if whatever we are doing is worth it.  When morning knocks at our door, we don't want to rise with the sun, don't want to go on with the time. The emotions in us choke us, but we still wake up. Fake a brave face and lovely smiles. And when the day ends we realize that waking up was not a waste, that fake smile turned into a real one. So, only standing up isn't a bad idea after all.  I have no idea what is ahead, nor do I have a plan. But if the day w...

I was gazing at the sunset from the corner window. The sun was below the horizon. There's something in the beauty of twilight that can't be ignored. The sky was shining like a canvas painted by a painter. When the birds passed through the sight it seemed that the painter had dropped a few black drops of paint on his precious painting so that it could be saved by evil eye. The howling of dogs, birds going back to their nests, cattle grazing fields to their owner’s place. I'm sitting here putting my thoughts into words, carefully choosing them and decorating them like books on my shelf.  I don't care about being told that I'm two-faced, it's not my problem if they have forgotten that every coin has two sides. After travelling, losing and winning, moving mountains or bowing before them, chasing butterflies, battling dragons, and taming wolves I've learned that in the end, I'm my only friend, in the end, I have to fight my battles. Although my fine with that...

It's nearly 1 am, I can hear rain outside. Sleep has left my eyes and I'm eating instant noodles. A flickering light coming from my laptop as I'm watching a movie directed by Basu Chatterjee. I know almost every dialogue. I wonder how many people are waking up at this hour of the night. Is everyone happy or satisfied? What has deprived them of their sleep? Do they feel lonely? Or are they talking to their loved ones right now? Funny how we all are awake and alone but still are together awake under the night sky. A lot of people ask me how much pahadi I'm. I just push aside this question by telling I'm not a mountain person. Well, I can tell by looking at the grey skies that it's snowing in the mountains above. I can feel the winds of mountains from the plains. I might like city life, but when night prevails I lie on my bed I start to miss the clear black sky, my open window, the moonlit room, and the stars. There's a blank space in my heart that always remai...

'I'm here! in the balcony.', I answered back to my mother. She asked me if I'd slept last night and I answered her again with yes. It seemed more like yelling than answering. The whole street would have heard us. It was a cold Sunday morning. The sun had just risen and was spreading its calm hue on the dull street. I'd always liked to welcome the morning sun with a cup of Chai. It had always cheered me up. But now, everything has changed. Or I've changed? Who knows? How will anybody know? I'm the one who built so high walls around myself, that nobody would ever be able to cross them.  I tried to bore my head in the book but in vain. I looked down below the street, a granny was taking her twin grandchildren for a walk. The kids were in the cradle. Unaware of the world, in their realm. A pair of sparrows were flocking around. A teenager was going to the temple, as it was his board year. I saw my mother feeding the neighbour's dog who is now her morning wal...

Myriad memories of the  dark past come at once,  I tried hard to obliterate, everytime it hurts.  Under the ashen skies I seek refuge,  Only the downpour is my friend to hide this remorse huge.  Someone far away in hills saying the eulogy,  Today is the funeral of an innocent dream, I'm the sinner of this cruelty. 

Take me to a far place tonight,  where I write lyrics  and you sing those lines,  Song of love or of happiness.  When the moon shines and dazzled the world,  Let's dance with stars and match your steps with mine.  Take me back to our old place,  when the sun rises,  Paint me in your color,  like the flowers and butterflies paints the whole earth,  This way, you fill my  heart with endless mirth. 

I pick up the stone and smashed the head of my opponent,  I take the stick and beat the undesired component,  I reply furiously to make  that chatterbox feel down,  I make that cunning person feel shy with my single frown.  And with these thoughts I'm sitting here alone,  With an innocent smile on my face  the only thing which I own. 

I'm stuck in the middle of the chaos of my thoughts, keep turning all the night,  I try to say my heart out, but the room echoes and cries with me and frights.  There comes a firefly who is flying over my head,  in this damp and dark season she always find a  way to enter my room and to my bed.  She speaks mysteriously and silently,  there's a magic in her glow,  After leaving the message of hope,  She makes her a way to go,  to the land of deliverance and delight.  The sun rays fall over my eyes,  I'm back from the dreamland,  and there's smiling the blue sky. 

It was two O'clock when my sleep broke suddenly, just after half an hour. The rice lights on my book rack was illuminating the whole room. It was late spring night. I could hear the song of nightingale. Since, I'm not a sound sleeper anymore like I used to before, during my teenage, I got up from my bed and pick up the book to read without switching on the light. I placed it on my table and switched on my table lamp. I sat on the position facing window.  It was nearly five thirty when my eyes felt heavy. I decided to sleep for a while. I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. The owl which often sits on the street light outside my window, I heard its hooting. My mother opened the door of my room to ask me to wake up. I told her about my sleeplessness and slept again. I felt the third foot under my feet and hand on shoulder. Something was holding me. There were limbs but not body! It sent chill down my spine. I tried to switch on the light but couldn't find the switch. I was not ...

Long to escape from the reality And lost in the universe of dreams, Far from this world To the extreme. No dark secrets to keep, Words have no meaning, Where affection is deep. Our lover willing  Lightening like a Flamboyant flame, Where you and me have no name. Phenomenal warmth of togetherness, Eternal and nothingness, Where lies passion and restlessness.  

Enough of mourning, It's time to gather all your fragments, Join them together, To convert them in to Marvelous Feat~ "A MASTERPIECE "

A small firefly, Strives to touch the sky. Flying through the heavenly stream, To complete the constellation of dreams.