Nidhi Katoch blog

 I was scribbling my dairy while sitting on the balcony, adoring the great Himalayas in front of me. I could hear the one or two hoots of villagers, now and then. The sun was smiling all over the valley. My coffee was getting cold but I wanted to put down my thoughts at once.  Some nights just went by in the blink of an eye, and we kept wondering why are we stuck here. To be truthful, stagnation is a curse. We get stagnant but the Earth never stops revolving around the sun. It makes us anxious and usually makes us wonder if whatever we are doing is worth it.  When morning knocks at our door, we don't want to rise with the sun, don't want to go on with the time. The emotions in us choke us, but we still wake up. Fake a brave face and lovely smiles. And when the day ends we realize that waking up was not a waste, that fake smile turned into a real one. So, only standing up isn't a bad idea after all.  I have no idea what is ahead, nor do I have a plan. But if the day w...

I've kept your photograph on my study table. Today when my eyes fall over your picture, it becomes difficult to control an urge to hold you for one last time. After our last phone call, I'd never imagined that phone calls can become a far-fetched dream. Everybody’s worst nightmare can become your reality. Last morning a kitten sat outside my kitchen with longing eyes and I started to wonder what you would have done. Everyone else wants me to go back, I know you would have never wanted that. Once again over everyone's opinion, I chose you, even when you're not here. I chose you. If we were given a choice nothing like this would happen. Everything seems so unfair. But who has fair life? So, there's no point in crying. But how long can you hold tears?  Today, I sat down at my study table to pour out all my emotions. But the pen stuck at a dot. It simply refused to move. Nothing in my head was making sense. I know a lot of things we write, say or think don’t make any se...

As usual, I'm again sitting idle. This is the most common start of accounts, encounters (or whatever you want to call) which I often share here. Sometimes I feel that you (yes! You, my reader) are definitely bored of this beginning. But still you come here again and again to see what story this idler has to tell.  Oh! yes, story.  I'm an early riser and love to see the sunrise. I was standing on the balcony that morning. The sun was about to rise. Few people were coming out of their houses for morning walk . I was slightly irritated by the constant cooing of pigeons. One stray kitten was busy jumping from wall to wall while another was sitting by my side. In this city, people hire men to wash their cars daily, unlike in my own place, where people usually forget when was the last time their vehicle took a bath. A deliveryman was waiting to deliver a courier outside a house. A guy came out with a toothbrush in his mouth, the deliveryman handed him a bouquet of roses and left.I w...

I know I'm not posting regularly these days. I'm going through severe writing slump. A lot have been happened in past days. It's not that I didn't write at all but I wasn't able to organize those thoughts.  Today I just felt like pouring my heart out. Season of Love is here. I know you don't need any special day or week to express your love. But I see nothing wrong in celebrating it. I mean everyone loves gifts and surprises, feeling of love and being loved.  We always think that our life is our life. Whatever we're going to do will only affect us, which is actually true to some extent (or may be large for few). But sometimes one tear of ours can break the other apart. I'm not saying that one should do things just to make others happy. It's our life and we own it. With this we should not forget that when we demean ourselves, we demean the people who love us, we break the trust that they have on us. Just because it didn't happen according to you o...

I was lying on the bench with my head resting on your lap, when I captured this photo. It was the breezy noon of October.The aroma of tea from nearby tea stall filled our surroundings. The blue sky and the pale-green leaves of trees were making the view more beautiful. I mused how in childhood, we used these leaves as currency, which could buy every happiness in our small world.  The leaves were swinging along with the breeze. It seemed as if they wanted to flow with the wind. But they didn't not know that they wouldn't be able to go far after getting rid of the tree.  Only a few moments of flying in the air then they would fall to the ground and lose their being. I noticed one pale leaf was coming to us from its twig. But you held it in your palm before it fell and put it in one of the books that we had bought from the roadside stall.  I realised some leaves don't lose their existence but stay forever as a token of memory in the hearts of people, the way this photo will ...

Once upon a time,  in the barren land of my heart edifice of modesty was built.  I was asked to remain inside, to not cross the threshold.  A Wallflower creeped out  from the cracks of veins,  fed on my blood,  multiplied itself and spread  all over the place,  on every wall, roof and windowpanes.  Oh dear, for how long one could put the wilderness  behind the bars.  The roots had reached  below the substratum, Weakened were the walls now.  On one dark night,  thunder came to play,  Shocked were the walls,  took the roof away.  Walls fell down,  There came light,  Rainbow smiled,  Wind blew calmly Flowers grew happily ever after.   

 I was in the final year of my college when I met my first love. Although we had seen each other but never tried to had a talk. I had never been in relationship before and had no plan of getting into one. But the destiny always has her own plans and everyone has to bow before her.  The sunny days of September  and the evening hour,  While sitting on the grass,  I was looking at you like a sunflower.  I knew you had the same  instinct as me but I was caged bird, full of colors,  with a frigid heart and You were free.  You came near me,  the clamor inside me arise,  I couldn't hear the people around me my heart was about to fly,  to the farlands of love which it had never been,  the feelings had never felt before,  the bright colors, it had never seen.  The outer world for me  was full of hardships and still it is,  You promised to come along  and are still with me.  I believe it was the plannin...

Take me to a far place tonight,  where I write lyrics  and you sing those lines,  Song of love or of happiness.  When the moon shines and dazzled the world,  Let's dance with stars and match your steps with mine.  Take me back to our old place,  when the sun rises,  Paint me in your color,  like the flowers and butterflies paints the whole earth,  This way, you fill my  heart with endless mirth. 

I'm lying silently  under the moon, by the river, The agitating flow of water  like my inflamed heart, eager to go ahead and far,  Far where there would be confluence  of courses of two rivers, hence with the double strength, It would move ahead, Leaving behind the serene hills and plains, all small streams and drains. Sometimes nurturing,  Sometimes destroying, It seems that it stops for no one, Neither for the moon nor for the sun. Ultimately it reaches to the sea where it evaporates in to clouds, and flies freely over the hills, to melt on a day to again become  a spring, river and sea. The sun is about to rise,  Birds are coming out of nests, I'll carry on my expedition with a promise to come back, Come back, after meeting my sea!

I listened to the slow cries,  But in this darkness I could not see, Enraging tones turned morose, Surly squeals of my known, Made my ears bleed. Throbbing pain of broken mirror, Roaring rain and lost in scruples, Who was innocent! Who was sinner! 

Pic credit- Mother The day is young and bright I'm gazing at the still mountains  who seem to kiss the blue sky. I could see the white snow spreading its clothes all over the mountains, And the familiar broad road, on a mountain which hasn't changed  since my childhood. The mango tree is swinging with the breeze as if advising its little children  to embrace the sun and the rain, Welcome the spring and fight the hail.  Little mynah(s) are playing hide and seek, Sparrows feed grains, Woodpecker is busy with its beak, Without paying attention to my existence, I'm lost in the forest dense of my heart, which is clouded by some wrenching thoughts. A gust of wind comes from the north, as it brings snow in its scent, Whispers loudly in my ears  your winters are about to end.