24.12.2023


It was December evening, I was sipping coffee with my twin in the busy market of this old city. I made some phone calls here and there and started to observe people and architecture. Old or new traditions, this city has preserved and nurtured both. How fast the life is here! It may take some time to learn and move with the business this place holds. My eyes were fixed on the bookstall and I was wondering if should I buy myself a book or not.
There's a thing in these streets, a nostalgic emotion, a feeling of being missing out, a feeling of moving forward. An emotional baggage from the past that we always carry, was suddenly in front of me. I pull out a few things to discard. Discarding things from that baggage involves losing people, shedding tears, old patterns, and changed responses. Sitting there, felt like shedding my old skin, which was never mine, but I had been wearing it for so long that I forgot that underneath resided a whole different person, my true self. That skin haunted my own shadow. 
I didn't realise when a tear rolled down my cheek. Upon being asked by the twin, I wiped it off immediately. I know that I’ll wear that skin again. I have tried to shed it earlier but that's of no use. But my gut always reminds me that here things only work as a barter system, either emotions or material. And it has been proven true most of the time
I saw a Mother-Daughter duo chatting in front of my bench. The mother was fixing her daughter’s hair as they were falling all over her face. I passed them a smile. 
My twin pushed me to buy a book I was eying on and took me to another place about which she was sure I would love. I shifted my attention to the present moment because I knew in that particular moment I didn't have to fake my skin. My shadow was free and so was I.
 

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Nidhi katoch
A silent observer in search of her TRUE HOME. If you like my writings, do comment and share... Views are extremely personal and are original writings of mine.

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