Late Night Ramblings

-


It's nearly 1 am, I can hear rain outside. Sleep has left my eyes and I'm eating instant noodles. A flickering light coming from my laptop as I'm watching a movie directed by Basu Chatterjee. I know almost every dialogue.

I wonder how many people are waking up at this hour of the night. Is everyone happy or satisfied? What has deprived them of their sleep? Do they feel lonely? Or are they talking to their loved ones right now? Funny how we all are awake and alone but still are together awake under the night sky.

A lot of people ask me how much pahadi I'm. I just push aside this question by telling I'm not a mountain person. Well, I can tell by looking at the grey skies that it's snowing in the mountains above. I can feel the winds of mountains from the plains. I might like city life, but when night prevails I lie on my bed I start to miss the clear black sky, my open window, the moonlit room, and the stars.

There's a blank space in my heart that always remains void no matter how much I try. I wonder if these awake people behind the closed windows have the same? 

"न जाने क्यूँ, होता है ये ज़िंदगी के साथ

अचानक ये मन

किसी के जाने के बाद करे फिर उसकी याद

छोटी छोटी सी बात न जाने क्यूँ"

 [Loose translation: no one knows why this happens when our beloved left us and our heart aches again and again by remembering their little moments]*

I get the answer when this song starts to play on my laptop. Nobody knows why we feel a void inside us but the pain is universal. So, there's no point in overthinking. By this thought, I returned to my movie happily. 



*Songwriters: Salil Chowdhury / Yogesh

*Movie: Choti si Baat by Basu Chatterjee 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

My photo
Nidhi katoch
A silent observer in search of her TRUE HOME. If you like my writings, do comment and share... Views are extremely personal and are original writings of mine.

Popular posts from this blog

Token of memory

-
Image
I was lying on the bench with my head resting on your lap, when I captured this photo. It was the breezy noon of October.The aroma of tea from nearby tea stall filled our surroundings. The blue sky and the pale-green leaves of trees were making the view more beautiful. I mused how in childhood, we used these leaves as currency, which could buy every happiness in our small world.  The leaves were swinging along with the breeze. It seemed as if they wanted to flow with the wind. But they didn't not know that they wouldn't be able to go far after getting rid of the tree.  Only a few moments of flying in the air then they would fall to the ground and lose their being. I noticed one pale leaf was coming to us from its twig. But you held it in your palm before it fell and put it in one of the books that we had bought from the roadside stall.  I realised some leaves don't lose their existence but stay forever as a token of memory in the hearts of people, the way this photo will ...
Read more

Speck of dust

-
Image
I was having my breakfast on the table by side of window. Sun rays were peeping inside from behind the tree. One or two rays felt pity on my loneliness and decided to come inside to give me company during my breakfast. I could see the thousands of dust particles in those sun rays. Few particles settled on my mobile screen, which was lying on table for not more than two minutes.  A little dust might have dissolved in coffee. I was constantly watching the silently dancing particles. Dancing or running? I don't know! I felt like I'm one of them, Speck of dust, dancing altogether yet alone. Dancing on the music whose lyrics are ineffable, rhythm which is lost in far hills, which has no intro and ending. I'm a speck of dust who's afraid she'll be lost somewhere in this loop named World.   I was distracted by the voice of kid outside on the street who was asking his friends to wait for him. He was on his foot while his friends were on bicycle. But when they didn't hea...
Read more

Musings

-
Image
I was sitting on the wooden roof of the cafe, trying to comprehend the meaning of my life. I heard a human voice from the sky and looked upward. While paragliding people looked like birds flying in the sky, as if they own the sky. As humans we always want to fly, free and wild. To break my chain of thoughts and to amuse myself, I started observing others in the cafe. A group of teenage girls was occupied in gossiping. "Why can't they just sit and enjoy the scenery? ", I remarked. A man in his early twenties, with a camera in his hands, was clicking pictures of hills. " A fine, sunny day to take pictures, but what's the use of beautifying something that is already beautiful? " I said in my mind, "But that's not of my concern. I'm doing the same thing here judging others and ignoring beauty. " I could feel the sting of jealous and contempt in my thoughts.  Mid day sun was up and it's warmth melted the snow settled in my heart. Two childre...
Read more

The Day We Met...

-
Image
I still remember the day we met. The sun was burning hot. But then clouds of heaven smiled over us. And they witnessed our meet. The angels behind the clouds showered their blessings. That day I embraced the silence to listen to your words, to embed those words in my heart like pearls.  Words that were not of worldly wisdom, but the words of freedom. Words of ecstasy soothed the silence of lips and melted my stormy soul. The words of your song even excited the birds. Wind of love was flowing and the fragrance of flowers scented the garden. We sat there for long hours. The sun reached below the horizon and mist covered the whole garden. Your lips kissed my forehead and bid me good bye. Then you lost in the midst of mist with a smile on your face. And there left a woman who had just experienced the eternal joy of love for the first time and the misery of separation from her lover.
Read more

Words

-
Image
 Sometimes words are angry upon you. They don't come to you easily. The more you approach, the more you try to persuade them, they run away from you like a child turns his face when he is angry upon her mother or like the tantrums of your lover when you tease him.  Sometimes they grow in your mind but when they reach on the gates of Great Paper they give up. They think they aren't ready yet, not fully prepared. They think or we!  Ah! How can you write such a thing? Who on earth is going to like it? And we don't put them even on paper which is our personal space.  Sometimes words come to us when we are on a ride, drive or may be in some shopping mall/ grocery store. We find them interesting and decide to write them, then they fly.  They flew to far land where neither we can reach nor our thoughts. Words, medium to communication but when everything ends we don't need them anymore, not for others, not for us. Then they just float in the air freely, without any arra...
Read more

Talking in between the Silence

-
Image
  "What's more heavenly than steaming hot coffee after spicy momos? " I asked my twin who was still waiting for her coffee to cool down a little. "Maybe a piece of cake! " She replied jokingly. After this talk, we kept quiet for a while. It was a nice day to sit under the sun. A perfect day to soak the warmth in our hearts which had been turned cold while walking among the crowd.  "Why are we sitting here?" "Because we are seeking escape." "Is it wrong to do?" "No." "So why does it feel wrong?" "Because we're trained to feel so." "Should we part our ways? " "We never need to part ways to do different things." "Are you trying to say we are right?" "I'm not saying we are right. But all I know is We are NOT wrong." I didn't know where was this conversation heading, neither she. We kept on talking for a while in that way and fell silent again. "Let...
Read more

Connect me through Social Media