Nidhi Katoch blog

I'm alone in this night  Water has engulfed me, My heart is hanged  somewhere in the air, between the surface and the sky. Sobriety has escaped by breaking all walls  of the chamber, Would I ever be able to  reach that place, where peace resides,  where a little black bird flies,  with the ease, without any storm  and screaming wind, where the sun smiles on every dream !

Pic credit- Mother The day is young and bright I'm gazing at the still mountains  who seem to kiss the blue sky. I could see the white snow spreading its clothes all over the mountains, And the familiar broad road, on a mountain which hasn't changed  since my childhood. The mango tree is swinging with the breeze as if advising its little children  to embrace the sun and the rain, Welcome the spring and fight the hail.  Little mynah(s) are playing hide and seek, Sparrows feed grains, Woodpecker is busy with its beak, Without paying attention to my existence, I'm lost in the forest dense of my heart, which is clouded by some wrenching thoughts. A gust of wind comes from the north, as it brings snow in its scent, Whispers loudly in my ears  your winters are about to end. 

Rage has made its authority in the room of mind,  and bad blood in my heart, Love has lost its right somewhere behind.  My ears are closed Eyes are blind, Body is burning  Still my organs are not kind.  My mouth is silent Thoughts are aggressive, Actions say nothing  words are abusive.  When shall I get the soul When shall I heal Time is slipping away  So does the life's reel. 

In winter mornings, the fields are usually covered with white sheet of dew which gives the impression of snow. It was a chilly morning. Upper hills had got heavy snowfall. I decided to not open the window of my room. I could hear the song of saint and his harmonium. Boys who play basketball had left for their practice. I was still curled inside my quilt. With eyes wide open I was staring at the dark walls of quilt.  Suddenly there rose an urge to drink tea. Tea is a kind of addiction that one can't left so easily. I raised from the bed and switched on the light. When I came out of the room, I felt a hand holding my shoulder. I could not turn my head to see. Something was stopping me from heading further. That invisible hand pulled my arm and slammed me to the wall.  I at once opened my eyes and found myself on my bed. I was still curled inside my quilt and still had an urge to drink tea.

During my evening walk  I met a little kid,  Sparkling and cheerful  that doe eyed. He talked about his school and his friends, He seemed sad, although  happy he pretend. We went to village temple and made deal with God, in our minds,  I asked for strength to travel my road.  When I got ready to go back, The kid accompanied me again,  I asked him, what have you asked  from God and bargain? He said I prayed to God for togetherness of my parents, For happy family, and for all sufferings' disappearance. Listening that I fell silent and meek,  It's only the family, the victim of separation can seek.  He longed for family, And here, I was trying to escape ! He was sure that all he  asked for, God can make.  After that day I could never met him,  But his words still echoed in my ears, whenever I cross that road, I experience same strange fear.