Repulse

I was standing in front of the gate, for a moment I saw you smiling but soon you faded. I’m still carrying your photograph in my wallet, only to keep reminding myself how you used to look before going to that damn place only to never come back. I walked for a while in the compound before settling myself on a covered diwan of verandah. I was about to lighten the cigarette, but the thought that you would have hated it held me back. Why was I still waiting for you to open the kitchen door? I could hear your voice in my head. The lilies have grown all over the place with dandelions. I looked at the sky, the sky is always so blue here, I watched clouds moving, covering the sun. My heart is also clouded, whether to take a step ahead or stay on the path, is this place should I settle? Why is it necessary for me to settle when you were here, I never used to give a thought about it. What did you get by settling here, in this house, surrounded by tea gardens? Maybe peace. Whenever I used to ask ...