Nidhi Katoch blog

I've kept your photograph on my study table. Today when my eyes fall over your picture, it becomes difficult to control an urge to hold you for one last time. After our last phone call, I'd never imagined that phone calls can become a far-fetched dream. Everybody’s worst nightmare can become your reality. Last morning a kitten sat outside my kitchen with longing eyes and I started to wonder what you would have done. Everyone else wants me to go back, I know you would have never wanted that. Once again over everyone's opinion, I chose you, even when you're not here. I chose you. If we were given a choice nothing like this would happen. Everything seems so unfair. But who has fair life? So, there's no point in crying. But how long can you hold tears?  Today, I sat down at my study table to pour out all my emotions. But the pen stuck at a dot. It simply refused to move. Nothing in my head was making sense. I know a lot of things we write, say or think don’t make any se...

It's nearly 1 am, I can hear rain outside. Sleep has left my eyes and I'm eating instant noodles. A flickering light coming from my laptop as I'm watching a movie directed by Basu Chatterjee. I know almost every dialogue. I wonder how many people are waking up at this hour of the night. Is everyone happy or satisfied? What has deprived them of their sleep? Do they feel lonely? Or are they talking to their loved ones right now? Funny how we all are awake and alone but still are together awake under the night sky. A lot of people ask me how much pahadi I'm. I just push aside this question by telling I'm not a mountain person. Well, I can tell by looking at the grey skies that it's snowing in the mountains above. I can feel the winds of mountains from the plains. I might like city life, but when night prevails I lie on my bed I start to miss the clear black sky, my open window, the moonlit room, and the stars. There's a blank space in my heart that always remai...